There is no way to avoid shame or at least awkwardness when trying to develop something that is not your primary psychological function. For example, you are more thinking person and you’re trying to pay attention to your feelings, name them accurately, express them to another person. It will be uncomfortable, unusual and you may get stuck. They same is with the opposite situation. If you’re a more feeling-sensation kind of person trying to develop your thinking with someone who has his thinking function developed quite nicely. It is but natural that this sort of situation cause embarrassment or awkwardness. So what to do? To put it short, maintain balance between support and frustration.
One could ask, can I use my primary function that is very comfortable for me in all life situations? I will make it so advanced that it will substitute successfully other functions. Many people are going this path. It is intuitively attractive way of the minimum resistance. If you do it like this, then imbalance will start accumuting in your orgasism that will lead to some kind of a psychological disorder. Next intuitive step will be to push yourself even harder in applying your primary function, in order to overcome the disorder. It won’t work and you’re coming dangerously close to a breakdown.
Of course we should avoid such outcome and put efforts into developing those psychological functions that are outside of our comfort zone. It will have positive effect on your health. A therapist needs to be on the one hand accepting, caring and supportive and the other be able to show an example, be clear in his explanations and give honest feedback. In my opinion, the most important is to find the right balance between interest and risk, so that you stay active and move forward.
Often we receive some rather harsh criticism that kills the desire to try again, or we’re unquestioningly supported and accepted blindly, that attitude does not get us anywhere either. It is a rare luck to find the right balance. But if you know what you’re looking for your chances increase.