Masculinity – Alexey Shpychka

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What does it mean to be a man? What is a male identity? The problem of fathers and sons, fatherlessness. There is a problem in our society of male identity. Fathers are not always there for their sons. Very often women raise boys, mothers, teachers. A woman can not teach a boy how to be a man, just the same as a man can not teach a girl how to be a woman. The lack of male attention in families result in various disorders in the sphere of psychological health. There is a stereotype that men don’t cry therefore men are in a situation where they get used to hide their problems. It’s extremely hard for a man to share feelings with another man. It does not have to be like this. Let’s split a man’s life into two categories to show the possible lines of work.

Work of life

How to choose a field of occupation and get support
An ability to withstand competition
Recognition and respect
Cooperation with colleagues, partners, seniors
Setting goals and achieving them
Discovering of one’s true values
Male friendship, how to be a good friend

Relationship with a woman

Sensitivity
An ability for intimacy in a relationship
Attentiveness
What to do with a woman’s tears
Expressing of emotions
Discovering of one’s true needs
Why relationship are not possible without admitting one’s vulnerability

During my psychotherapeutic training I have had a great fortune to learn from a remarkable male psychotherapists. I am very grateful to them for the valuable experience and knowledge. It turns out that men can recognize each other, provide support, share feelings, cooperate. Men’s world is not only war and competition.

Any form of self destructive behavior is a cause to visit a psychotherapist. Alcoholism, workaholism, extreme leisure activities, ungrounded risk, etc. Irrational, ungrounded behaviour in relationships.

There are a range of psychoemotional and psychosomatic difficulties which many men find easier to share with another man.